he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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