can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
