I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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