Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
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What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
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I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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