four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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