grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
