it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
