i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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