ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm passing your future prison.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
