I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
