i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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