So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
