no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize