people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
