why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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