she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
