Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
