STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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