I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I look better un-naked...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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