Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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