I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
how drunk are you?
Several
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
