Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
