i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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