Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
