FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
