U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
