Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
