just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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