Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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