Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
