I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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