Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My underwear smells like fireworks.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
