At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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