Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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