My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
