More tranny stories later!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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