fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
