you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
