i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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