I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
