no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
