I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
