The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
