I cockslap morals
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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