am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
