On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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