what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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