apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I am one with the molecules
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So here I am, sexting at work.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
