Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Do you have feelings for this penis?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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