Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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