his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
