Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
