i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
