It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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