She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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