when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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