You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
