dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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