i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
