so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
