So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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