Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
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I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
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Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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