I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
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I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
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You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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