This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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