You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
