therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
