Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I bet he comes in French.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize